And now,
Introducing the ALL NEW
Jesus action figure,
now with kung fu grip and mighty whip
action.
Able to make any merchant run from the Almighty’s wrath.

Act now and receive your very own cat-of-nine-tails accessory,
ideal for re-living those
wonderful
memories from the “Passion” movie (also available (sold separately))

And for a low, low price of only $9.99/mo. for nine months.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!!

We’ll also throw in a complimentary,
absolutely free,
beautifully
hand crafted,
androgynous
Satan doll,
at no extra charge to you.

Remember…

Jesus isn’t only my Homeboy,
He’s also my action figure!!