Introducing the ALL NEW
Jesus action figure,
now with kung fu grip and mighty whip
Able to make any merchant run from the Almighty’s wrath.
Act now and receive your very own cat-of-nine-tails accessory,
ideal for re-living those
memories from the “Passion” movie (also available (sold separately))
And for a low, low price of only $9.99/mo. for nine months.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!!
We’ll also throw in a complimentary,
at no extra charge to you.
Jesus isn’t only my Homeboy,
He’s also my action figure!!