Q & A

Poetry, Unorthodox Poetry

L: Nah seriously, I’s wrapped in toilet paper.

L: Nah, I ‘on’t ‘mem’er how.

L: I think it all started when I’s thirteen. I wanneda be gangsta like them kids who wore them ugly stripe shirts from tha indoor swap meets.

L: Yeah. Yeah, those ones that had fuzzy fabric on tha thick black stripes. Yeah, I thought I’s cool. But hey, at least I didn’ wear them nasty neon fanny-packs from tha eighties, a’ight. Hahahahaha.

L: I would say I started dressin’ like that back in tha mid-nineties. It must’a been actually more like, ‘99? ‘98? I ‘on’t know, I ‘on’t really ‘mem’er.

L: Do you ‘mem’er them ol’ Rollin’ Hard t-shirts? Yeah, those with the half-neck’ed girls ‘n lowriders? Yeah. I started rockin’ that shit ‘round ’96, ’97. I’s really one of the vatos then. That’s when I started burning El Pachuco on trash cans ‘n shit. I’s small time then. Mostly hitting my sketchbook. I thought I’s the shit, then. Had no regard for myself in those days.

L: Huh, wha’? Waddaya mean?

L: Oh, well, to put it straight, I ain’t give a damn about anythin’, man. I’s psycho. I wanneda take myself out this world, and travel to the next dimension, man. Yaknaw-I’m-sayin’? I’m talkin’ suicide. I ain’t actually try anythin’ then. I ain’t do that ‘til I hit 20. 21.

I cut myself one day at work wit’ ma pocketknife. I’s working at Sears at the time, ‘n I said fuck it. There’s nobody in the Lawn ‘n Garden Department or Fitness Department, so I said fuck it. I heated ma knife wit’ a lighter I bought and said fuck it. I ran that shit hot across ma forearm ‘n cut myself as deep as I could.

I figure by cuttin’ ‘n burnin’ myself at the same time I’d avoid having blood dripping all over. See, it was premeditated ‘n shit.

L: Yeah, I’s confused then. I wanneda die ‘n see how many people’d really care. I fine’ly came to tha conclusion that tha only people that it’d matter ta were ma brother ‘n sister. I fine’ly fo’gave my dad for leaving ‘round that age too. I learned he love me too. ‘N then there’s ma grandma. I couldn’ break her heart either. I ‘on’t know what I’d do without her in my life. I wouldn’ be tha man I am today.

L: I ‘on’t really wanna talk about it no more. I tol’ you. I’s given a fair chance like e’erybody else. At leas’ tha’s what I tell myself. I made it this far ‘cuz it was ma destiny to. Tha’s all I’m sayin’. God wanned me to do this.

L: Aight then, tha’s cool. Hit me up when the next show comes ‘round. I might see you. I might not. Ha.

Hey, man, I can’t guarantee shit. I come ‘n go like the wind, my frien’. I ‘on’t stand still for no one. Just don’t tell ma girl that. Hahahahahaha.

L: Peace.

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